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Joke of the Day

"So psyched! My 1st granddaughter born today: 6lb11oz! Which is not the name I'd have chosen, but I guess I need to keep up with the times."

"What do you call a transvestite postal worker? a mail lady"

"Alien: take me to your leader. Me: They all suck. How about I take you to this place I know where you can get amazing mini donuts?"

"Let's walk barefoot on grass! -People who have never walked a dog"

"Why did Adele cross the road #To say hello from the other side#"

"What's the similarity between American waitresses and the Jewish community? They both believe in tip shaming."

"getting my hopes up only to become even more disappointed dot edu"

"I love the smell of a camp fire. It reminds me of the night we kille....nnn.....I just love smell of campfires."

"What lies on the bottom of the ocean and shakes? A nervous wreck."

"Why can't you trust a person with two butts? Because they're bi-assed."