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Joke of the Day

"A game developer recently released a ""rectal prolapse simulator""... ...they called it ""Fallout""."

"In 1987, we had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope... ...now we have Obama, no cash, and no hope."

"[my laboratory] ME: I'VE DONE IT! MOUSE WITH EAR GROWING ON IT'S BACK: Holy crap keep it down."

"A stranger phoned me up last night asking me to meet him in the woods because he wanted to see my balls... Weirdo never showed up."

"Why is a frog luckier than a cat ? Because a frog croaks all the time but a cat only gets to croak nine times !"

"What's blue and look like pink fluff? Pink Fluff holdings its breath. What's Red and looks like Blue Fluff? Red Fluff."

"*eats one piece of lettuce* checks for abs"

"Planning on starting a restaurant called 'Cobalt 60'. Food will obviously be something to die for."

"Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head."

"Thanks for keeping your Instagram account private. I'd hate for those pictures of your lunch to fall into the wrong hands."