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Joke of the Day
"Planning on starting a restaurant called 'Cobalt 60'. Food will obviously be something to die for."
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the Mexican train robber? Apparently he had Loco motives."
"Sex without love is like ice cream without sprinkles... still pretty fcuking awesome."
"I told my wife I love her like a Brit loves soccer... She looked worried and said, ""So you're going to get drunk and yell at me?"" EDIT: correcting auto-correct."
"The pen is mighter than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris."
"Sucks that these Crest strips only come in white"
"Two years ago, I've shook with famous comedian and I haven't washed my hand since. It smells funny."
"What do you get if you squash a house? A flat."
"Just texted ""I still love you"" to about 50 random phone numbers."
"The kids are crazy about a new piglet toy. When they wind it up it eats all the spinach off their plates."