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Joke of the Day

"Hey my American friend, I heard you like Football jersey's so I got you the new Irish Kit!! *Um, Bro?*"

"Of all the different types of pornography ... I'd say animal porn is the bestial."

"Bae: come over Me: can we ever have normal conversations Bae: my parents aren't home Me: why can't you just ask how good my day was for once"

"Why don't you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it."

"Started my new job yesterday, and have to go back in today already. THIS IS BULLSHIT."

"Why did the woman buy new wine glasses? Because the ones she was using made everything blurry."

"A redditer clicks on a link.. realizes they are the joke."

"if i could rearrange the alphabet i'd put ""u"" at the beginning and ""i"" at the end. i want a divorce karen"

"[on phone with debit fraud] Bank guy: Sir do you shop on line at all Me: DUDE IT'S 2017 WE BUY TOILET PAPER ONLINE BG: M: Sometimes. Yes"

"Me: Check out that car. It has 400 horses. 5-year-old: Where does all the poop go?"