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Joke of the Day

"Why did the woman buy new wine glasses? Because the ones she was using made everything blurry."

"Me: Ohhh, MARITAL arts workshop...now I really feel stupid in this karate outfit. Wife to therapist: Do you see what I'm dealing with here?"

"""the name's bond. james bond. james bond jovi."" coming this summer, YOU ONLY LIVE ON A PRAYER TWICE. rated PG for piece of garbage"

"Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you."

"Do not tell a kid you didn't understand his joke unless you have 4 hours free to hear the explanation."

"What do you call a chicken going to the moon? Apollo 11"

"Justin Bieber has found Jesus which means that Jesus is really great at a lot of things but hiding is not one of them."

"I'm not the hero Gotham deserves. I'm Pete I work at Subway. Do u want extra meetballs."

"Why did the pilot hit the Alps? To get to the other side."

"What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant ? Very big worm holes in your garden !"