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Joke of the Day

"[on phone with debit fraud] Bank guy: Sir do you shop on line at all Me: DUDE IT'S 2017 WE BUY TOILET PAPER ONLINE BG: M: Sometimes. Yes"

"people who can fall asleep quickly freak me out don't they have thoughts"

"What's green and smells like pork? Kermits finger! This is a guy I knows fav all time joke and I told him I would put it on here after telling him the jokes I read on here."

"A flamingo, a duck, and a lawyer... Q: What can a flamingo do that a duck can't that a lawyer should? A: Stick its bill up its ass."

"Mexicans are so good at basketball It's in there blood. They can Run, Jump, Shoot and steal."

"At least once in our life, we all have tried to balance the light switch in between the on and off position."

"/r/shitredditsays"

"What religion do ghosts practice? Boo-ddhism"

"There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, ""It sure is hot in here"". The other muffin says, ""Yeah like 350, 375""."

"What do gay Polish men like most up their arse? Poles."