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Joke of the Day

"Why is North Korea so depressing? Because it ain't got no Seoul."

"I've opened a gym called Resolutions. It has exercise equipment for the first 2 weeks of each year, then becomes a bar for the remaining 50."

"What's the funniest joke you've heard that can be told to a 5th grader? I always loved this one: (works better said out loud of course) What do you call a fish with no eyes? ... A FSHHH"

"16 year olds can vote in Scotland. That's ok because they've been drinking since they were 9 and understand disillusionment."

"I can't get enough minimalism."

"After starting on August 15th, 2004, Julia Roberts just finished brushing her teeth a few hours ago."

"Never marry a girl whose mother's name is Hope.... because 'Hope' never dies."

"Q: How do you embarrass an archeologist? A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from."

"When my toaster broke, my wife left me. I guess she was lack toast intolerant"

"I think the scariest part about having triplets is having to be pregnant for 27 months."