139873

Joke of the Day

"What's the funniest joke you've heard that can be told to a 5th grader? I always loved this one: (works better said out loud of course) What do you call a fish with no eyes? ... A FSHHH"

"[at wife's funeral] Son: At least shes in heaven now Me: [delicately places hand on his shoulder] You don't know shit about your mom"

"Q: What do a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common? A: By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in."

"Clever Husband. Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: Why Three? Husband: It's for you and your parents."

"Apparently, you can only say ""look at you! You got so big!"" to children. Adults tend to get offended."

"I go to seafood restaurants to show the lobsters in the tank I have a bigger penis than them. Then shrug my shoulders as they boil to death."

"Walruses? Walri? Walrus? Anyway...They've escaped."

"""They call me Mr Six Hours,"" I told her, trying to make it sound like a sex thing not the amount of time my head was stuck in a beehive for"

"Just because someone says, I love you, doesn't automatically mean they love just you."

"What should the Packers call their cheerleaders? Green Baes"