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Joke of the Day

"""OPEN THE DOOR IT'S THE POLICE"" who is it? ""POLICE"" what is a police *cops start whispering* ""how does he not know what a police is"""

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick into your mouth."

"My friend hates theme parks because he doesn't like the idea of waiting for 5 hours for 2 minutes of pleasure. And yet he still goes on dates."

"Is it against the law for postal workers to smile or was it my audacity to mail something?"

"Me: ""Could you show me where the self-help books are?"" Librarian: ""No."""

"How do you tell a male chromosome from a female chromosome? You pull down its genes!"

"Professor: I forgot to take my umbrella this morning. Wife: When did you first miss it dear? Professor: When I reached up to close it after the rain had stopped."

"I am going to follow a random gang of drunk girls around the night club tonight, and just be in the background of all of their photos."

"I'm excited for the Supreme Court to finally let us know if gay people are human beings."

"What's a pirate's favourite letter? A P. Because it's like an ARR, but it's missing a leg."