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Joke of the Day
"Life didn't work out, but everything else is not that bad."
Next Joke
"I have a joke about California's drought. But it's pretty dry."
"What did one lesbian vampire say the other? See ya next month ;)"
"When I wear those trendy sports bras with a million straps I get stuck in them like a seagull in a six pack ring"
"Anyone want to do the laundry for me? Im exhausted. I can pay you in beanie babies or hot monkey sex. The monkey's name is Earl. He bites."
"I am a recovering addict... I was addicted to the hokey pokey... But I turned myself around."
"Axe came out with 2 new body sprays. I'm having a hard time deciding between ""My mom is picking me up at 8:30"" and ""Can I touch your bra"""
"Me: Siri set an alarm for 6am tomorrow morning. I want to go to the gym before work. Siri: Lol"
"If you use the word ""ridonkulous"" or ""ginormous,"" chances are you're a retardiot."
"I planted some flowers, but they never grew. Should have seen it coming. The package did warn that they were pansies."