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Joke of the Day

"Jesus must have had a chiseled, muscular body... I mean, he did cross fit, for God's sake. And the Bible tells us he was cut, ripped, and shredded."

"Wanna hear something ironic? Aliens abduct a fisherman"

"My phone doesn't auto capitalize the 'G' in god but it auto capitalizes the 'K' in Kevin. So now I worship Kevin."

"What did the spanish teacher say to his one student, who was a member of the cartel? Where is my essay?"

"Why do trees shed their leaves in fall? Because they've had their chloro-fill."

"There is nothing wrong with drinking while pregnant... ...my wife drank through all five months of her pregnancy."

"I hate it when my teachers hit on me. It sucks being homeschooled."

"My neighbor with the Confederate flag is harmless after all. He just drove off in the cutest little ghost costume."

"My 2yr old pointed at my crotch and said, ""Big pee pee!"" I'm taking him with me everywhere I go from now on."

"There are two things you need to understand to be successful. 1. Never tell anyone everything you know. 2."