90099

Joke of the Day

"There is nothing wrong with drinking while pregnant... ...my wife drank through all five months of her pregnancy."

"Sign language is pretty handy."

"What's a bulimic person's favorite movie? ""The Purge"""

"How do you spell ""we"" with two letters without using the letters W and E? U and I."

"[at the vets] He's really bad. He can't fly. ""He's a cat though."" [very sarcastically] oh I'm sorry is this the vets or the excuses clinic?"

"Q: Why did the blonde guy ask his girlfriend to squeeze his left testicle? A: Because the road sign said 'Squeeze Left.'"

"Why did Hillary Clinton cross the road? (probably offensive) 9/11"

"Met a girl with 12 nipples today Sounds pretty odd, dozen tits?"

"I was gonna tell you a joke so funny you'd laugh your dick off... but it looks like you already heard it."

"""Friends are a dime a dozen."" *pulls out a sack full of dimes* ""Sweet, I'll take 32 dozen friends please."""