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Joke of the Day

"How do government employees wink when they're at work? They briefly open one eye."

"What do you give a losing horse with lockjaw? A new jaw-key"

"The recent fake excitement of soccer in the U.S. confirms my belief that Americans will pretend to like anything they can scream USA about."

"Laziness is a dish best served delivered."

"I sure get a lot of compliments on my people skills for someone who flips off 10 people every day."

"No one is sure how much it cost Coke to sponsor the Paralympics, but it undoubtedly cost an arm and a leg."

"What did George Washington say to his men just before they got in the boat? ""Men, get in the boat!"""

"Since I can't afford porn, I just turn on tennis and shut my eyes."

"I love going climbing with my friends... They never fail to let me down."

"What's the definition of a narrow squeak ? A thin mouse !"