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Joke of the Day

"What's the definition of a narrow squeak ? A thin mouse !"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? because you didn't cook it. ^^probably ^^old ^^but ^^I ^^read ^^it ^^for ^^the ^^first ^^time"

"[job interview] ""So do you have any questions you'd like to ask me?"" Can I wait a week until I take the drug test?"

"You sneezed 20 times in a row, I think your brain wants out"

"Baby elephants migrate hundreds of miles to find water. My 6 year old is lying on the floor of the mall because I made him walk from the car"

"What do we want? A CURE FOR TOURETTES! When do we want it? CUNT!"

"Donald Trump is such a good salesman he could sell ice to the Eskimos. Which will come in handy considering his policies on global warming."

"So I heard Labour put forth a motion to build a new telescope... I guess they want to Observe-a-tory!"

"Have you seen the new Broadway production about the dictionary? It's a great play on words."

"*calls restaurant* Me: Hi is your place a kid friendly restaurant? Host: Of course it is sir *hangs up*"