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Joke of the Day
"I shot Quiet in the head on MGS5 She's really fucking Quiet now."
Next Joke
"If stray cats are free, why is Chinese food so expensive?"
"Just ate so much burrito that halfway through, I couldn't remember a time when I wasn't eating a burrito"
"An egg and a chicken just finished having sex... The egg rolls over, lights a cigarette, and says ""well, I guess that settles that."""
"The toilet at my local Police Station has been stolen. Cops have nothing to go on"
"Marriage must be difficult for gay people Ive heard it can be a real pain in the ass."
"I decorate for Halloween by opening my bedroom curtains as I walk around naked. Pretty scary stuff for my neighbors."
"Do you know the major difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps? Michael Phelps can actually finish a race."
"Me: sorry I can't go to the farmer's market with you. Allergies. Friend: pollen? Me: hipsters."
"What is common with overly attracted girlfriend and bubblegum on a carpet They both say: I'm stuck on you. Edit: wrote it wrong Edit: corrected spelling"