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Joke of the Day

"Congrats to Lindsay Lohan for successfully portraying what happens to mean girls after high school."

"New sea world commercial brags that their whales live just as long as wild whales. Personally I'd want a shorter life if I lived in a bowl."

"I want to wear glasses just so I can take them off and rub my eyes with my palms in exasperation when someone says something stupid."

"I don't understand why subway has to train their employees. We do that for them everytime we order & tell them EXACTLY how to make a sub."

"My dad put snowballs in the blender I miss snowballs he was a great cat"

"Funny Jokes testdfdfdfdfdfd"

"[1st day as a paramedic] me: can you point to where it hurts cyclist: [points at his severed leg at the other side of the road]"

"England doesn't have kidney banks, but it has a Liverpool."

"What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking!"

"Men at 25 plays football. Men at 40 plays tennis. Men at 60 plays golf. Have you noticed that as you get older your balls get smaller ?"