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Joke of the Day

"I don't understand why subway has to train their employees. We do that for them everytime we order & tell them EXACTLY how to make a sub."

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"Selling Darwinian birds: 5 for $5 Buck finches; get money."
"Why is the beach wet? Cause the seaweed"
"What does Batman get in his drink? Just Ice"
"There is a huge body of evidence to support the notion that me and the police were put on this earth to do extremely different things."
"My fortune cookie says ""You will attain the highest levels of intelligence."" Does anyone know where I can find fedoras for cheap?"
"One way to tell if what you're watching isn't really news is if the person is shouting at you."
"What do you call a melted penny? Liquid assets."
"Whats the best way to castrate a priest? Kick the alter boy in the chin"
"Why did Ellen Pao cross the road? [deleted]"