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Joke of the Day

"What did the dragon say as he entered the party? Hey, how are you *Alduin*?"

"A Mexican went into a Japanese restaurant and ordered but only to be disappointed when he was served with a live Octopus slammed in his plate. He asked for a taco."

"What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs? A condescending con descending I'll see myself out"

"Before you unleash her inner goddess, try to find out if she's channeling Aphrodite or Medusa."

"Why didn't galactus consume the milky way? He was galactose-intolerant. I'm sorry."

"<--- only has 13 problems left. Turns out, getting divorced cured 86 of em!"

"My wife told me not to say anything about her friend's lazy eye so I made sure to give numerous compliments on her super-athletic one."

"Who called them potatoes & not the motherchip."

"I'm coming out with a new type of whiskey called cunt... So when someone asks me what i want to drink I'll yell cunt liquor."

"My girlfriend finally watched Back To The Future. It's about time."