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Joke of the Day

"Who called them potatoes & not the motherchip."

"what do you call a dinosaur with a big mouth, big ass and tiny hands? T-Rump"

"What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Grab onto your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job."

"The annoying moment when I get comfy in bed and realize I forgot to do something."

"Suggested movie theater prices: Adults - $9.00, Under 12 - $ 6.00, Under 3 - $249.00"

"Never buy a used dream catcher from the flea market near a mental hospital."

"In honor of 3/14... TIL the man who discovered Pi had his wife, Edith, leave him over his obsession with math. Which just goes to show you, you can't have your Pi and Edith too."

"Can a ninja bring a ninja star into the airport? Shuriken."

"A limerick... there was a young vampire called mable. Whose periods were always quite stable. Every full moon, She'd pull out a spoon And drink herself under the table"

"Knock knock.... (Who's there?) Ellen Pao's Resume."