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Joke of the Day

"Tinder isn't a babysitting app. Apologies to Crystal and Janine for the misunderstanding."

"inspired by the recent election, i'm going to run for president the first step will be to change my name to ""none of the above""."

"How does an abortion doctor like his eggs? Scrambled."

"Dad, the dog is having sex. Don't mind it, son, it's nature. Yes, I know dad. But it hurts!"

"It's not cool to skip on dating someone who talks funny -- just because your english is gooder than theirs be."

"What do a cue ball and a mexican have in common? The harder you hit them, the more English you get out of them."

"How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it."

"I was feeling a bit down today... So I breathed some helium. It picked me right up!"

"Vodka isn't the answer to my problems but its worth a shot"

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because you were able to steal 12 of his hoodies."