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Joke of the Day

"I got 9 inches last night, 8 inches today and 7 inches coming tonight. Obviously, Winter is happy to see me."

"Do you want to see the birthmark on my arse? It looks like a colon!"

"Lazy fact 25428394692846 You didn't read that number"

"Looking for Sympathy? You'll find it between Shit and Syphilis in the dictionary."

"I assume the #1 reason people change their identity is b/c they answered ""You too"" when the barista said ""Enjoy your bagel."""

"What do you call a dark or melancholy verse of text? Poe-etry"

"9am: Very busy day today, I need to focus & stay off the internet 1pm: did you know that Texas has the largest population of prairie dogs?"

"I never mess with anyone in a Pontiac Aztek. I just don't want to be on the wrong end of another of their poor decisions."

"How did Hitler lose weight quickly ? Juice cleanse."

"I'll see your 7 year old joke and I'll raise you my own. What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam."