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Joke of the Day

"I assume the #1 reason people change their identity is b/c they answered ""You too"" when the barista said ""Enjoy your bagel."""

"Do people who use handkerchiefs know they don't have to hang on to the things that come out of their nose?"

"People say I'm not very responsible, when in fact I'm responsible for ""pajama casual"" being added to the employee handbook as inappropriate."

"Comas make a big difference in a sentence. For example, Ben is in a hurry. Ben is in a coma."

"What's the difference between being artistic and autistic? Just one letter."

"In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I'm right."

"If Arnold does star in the new Predator movie.. He would probably be sent back in time with his Expendables team to kill the Predator who was the actual John Connor."

"Shakespeare was gay... How else was he so good with his tongue?"

"I used to be into necrophilia, S&M, and Bestiality... Then I realized I was beating a dead horse..."

"I had a reaction to some nuts the other day.. ""These are a bit hairy."""