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Joke of the Day

"I'm wearing my big rolled up socks again today and I'm doing so with pride. So all you haters can get in a taxi and chip off."

"Establish dominance by sitting close to the buffet and growling every time someone walks up to get food."

"A pirate goes to the doctor, worried the moles on his back are cancerous ""It's ok"" says the Doctor ""They're benign"" ""Count 'em again Doc"" says the pirate. ""I reckon there be at least ten"

"How can you tell if a black guy is well hung? You can't fit your finger between the noose and his neck."

"Said Helvetica Narrow to Helvetica Bold: ""Hey, you're just my type."""

"What do you give a girl who already has everything? Antibiotics"

"What do you call a Nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile"

"What did one tile say when the other tile offered it a glass of port? No thanks, it's bad for my grout."

"What does it mean when an accountant is drooling out of both sides of his mouth? His desk is level"

"Why does the US name Arkansas Arkansas Because Its Arkansas not YourKansas"