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Joke of the Day

"I'm wearing my big rolled up socks again today and I'm doing so with pride. So all you haters can get in a taxi and chip off."

"Roasted beef is like regular beef except the cows family tells embarrassing stories about it, which are tough and tasteless."

"If I commit suicide, it'll be for a shallow reason, like unrequited texts. But the note I leave will mention world hunger at least 11 times."

"Roses are red, violets are blue... 9/11 was an inside job."

"It's only perverted if she says no.."

"What is the name of the Asian pointing out everyones mistakes? Xu wong"

"A Priest and a Rabbi observe a 10-year old boy walking down the street. Priest: Wanna fuck him? Rabbi: Out of what?"

"Q: How can you tell when a tenor is really stupid? A: When the other tenors notice."

"Why doesn't Muad'Dib like the Spice Girls? They remind him too much of his mother. I'll see myself out."

"If he can't build a wall, Trump is going to dig a giant hole at the border and cover it with a welcome mat like it's a Road Runner cartoon."