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Joke of the Day

"*pulls curtain back while wife is in the shower* me: Are we - stop screaming, it's just me- are we out of Cheetos?"

"People always tell me not to piss in the shower... ...but you know, it's difficult not to when you're taking a shit"

"The guy who invented urine therapy died a few days ago. May be rest in peace."

"My father asks my mother if the laptop has any battery life Mother: ""total Buenos no charge"""

"Because I'm such a Portal 2 fan, I created my own levels. Sadly, none of the ""volunteers"" have made it out alive and their families are starting to ask questions."

"I'm not saying you're a jackass but... You're the kind of guy who would buy Anne Frank a drum set."

"I'm no cactus expert. But, I know a prick when I see one."

"Q: Why didn't Natalie Wood take a shower on the boat? A: She wanted to wash up on shore."

"It's so obvious that she wants me. She avoids me at all costs probably because her feelings are so strong for me. Yeah, I'll go with that."

"Having sex in a bunch of python compilation errors It's fucking *indents*"