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Joke of the Day

"People always tell me not to piss in the shower... ...but you know, it's difficult not to when you're taking a shit"

"Why couldn't the pirate use the bubblegum vending machine? Because there is no quarter for the wicked."

"What did Davy Crockett say when he showed up to the Alamo? ""What are all these landscapers doing here?"""

"When I was a kid, I really didn't like the idea of having facial hair... ...but now it's starting to grow on me."

"I bought my girlfriend a fridge for her birthday I know its not the greatest gift, but you should've seen her face light up when she opened it."

"A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer."

"How many unemployed actors does it take to change a light bulb? (fixed) 100. 1 to change it and 99 to stand around and complain about how they coulda done a better job."

"Did you hear about the undertaker who buried someone in the wrong place and was sacked for the grave mistake?"

"I thought I was wrong once.... but I was mistaken."

"Do you know how NASCAR got its name? It's from North Carolina. There were a bunch of dudes standing around a car, and one of them said, ""That's a nas' car."""