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Joke of the Day

"Instagram is down! I'm freaking out! What are you people eating? How are your pets? What the hell is happening???"

"Two Breasts Two 80-year-old breasts are in a sweater with no bra. One says to the other, ""If we don't start getting some support for our cause, people will think we're nuts!"""

"Who is the coolest guy at the hospital? The ultra sound guy. And who covers when hes off sick? The hip replacement guy."

"Tell me more about how you don't have to work out often because you get too strong too fast. Man what a predicament"

"The last thing on earth you want to do will be the last thing you do."

"So I watched my first porno the other day... I'd have to say, damn I looked good."

"My wife & I couldn't agree on which psychic to go to. They were all sad and depressing. ""What did you do?"" We finally found a happy medium"

"How can Peter Pan fly? You'd fly too if somebody panned your peter."

"What do you call a seafood restaurant that generates its own power? A fission-chips shop."

"For you Atlanta Ga folks Welcome to Decatur, where the men are men and so are the women. Welcome to Midtown, where the women are women and so are the men."