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Joke of the Day

"Who is the coolest guy at the hospital? The ultra sound guy. And who covers when hes off sick? The hip replacement guy."

"Ref: I'm sending you off Player: What for? Ref: The rest of the match!"

"A Jewish kid asks his Dad: 'Dad, can I have 50 pence please?' The father replies: '40 pence?! what do you want 30 pence for?'"

"Why is a toothless dog like a tree? It has more bark than bite."

"I'd run a marathon but I don't know if I can handle the commitment. I mean a lifetime of telling every person you meet you ran a marathon?"

"Hot damn, you see this shit honey? The knife on TV just sliced a tomato after cutting drywall. I guess my plan isnt as stupid as you thought"

"What type of pants do Japanese people wear? Nihon-jeans (Nihon-jin)"

"Want to hear a funny joke? Civil Rights. For Anyone."

"Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay Sounds suuuuuuper fun if you don't happen to know what either of they things are."

"A Muslim Woman wanted to fuck a gorilla. Her husband objected and said... ""That's Haram, bae."""