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Joke of the Day

"Why don't blind people like to skydive? Because it scares the dog."

"Hangman was my favorite childhood learning game that promoted hanging someone for a wrong answer."

"The lady next door ran over my cat. She said she'd replace it, so I asked her how good she was at catching mice. Courtesy of Mary Poppins."

"I was making out with my girlfriend in my car when she said ""OOH DARMOK!! KISS ME DOWN WHERE IT SMELLS!"" ...so I drove her to New Jersey."

"In case you were wondering, Taco Bell offers free wi-fi. Don't bother asking for the password, because it's totally ""Cornhole Explosion""."

"When I grow up... Growing up I wanted to be a gynecologist. I could almost taste it."

"""I can't wait until this one orange erases years of poor eating choices."" -me, dieting"

"Joining Twitter instead of the circus was a pretty good move considering I'm a freak but not that talented"

"I before E, except after C, or when sounding like A in words like neighbor and weigh. **Weird...**"

"What's the difference between Hitler and Ronald McDonald? One of them is red and the other one is dead. LOLZ"