178399

Joke of the Day

"When I grow up... Growing up I wanted to be a gynecologist. I could almost taste it."

"Did you hear about that group of midgets suing the local bar? Yeah, they were upset with how short the stools were. The judge threw out the case, though; told them they were grasping at straws."

"When I see names carved into a tree I don't think it's cute, I just think its strange how many people take knives on a date."

"The real reason David beat Goliath is that when David threw a rock, Goliath threw scissors."

"Life is like a box of chocolates... It'll kill your dog."

"I've developed an app for dating children nearby. It's called Kinder."

"When people say they did something ""like a boss"" I just picture them doing it fatter and with less hair"

"When you are getting Old.... You know you're getting old when you stop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there."

"Have you heard of the new model of the german microwave? It seats twelve"

"How do you start a racist joke? With a look over your shoulder."