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Joke of the Day
"I heard Missouri is having some great Black Friday sales this year... 100% off everything."
Next Joke
"Personal Trainer- So how have you been cutting your carbs? Me-Mostly with a bread knife or a pizza slicer"
"LA girls say they want to go on ""adventures"" but when I pitch the idea of overthrowing the yakuza they clarify that they meant, like, hiking"
"2 snowmen in field, one Turns to the other and says ""can you smell carrot?"""
"Why do cemeteries have fences? Because people are dying to get in."
"My neighbor with the Confederate flag is harmless after all. He just drove off in the cutest little ghost costume."
"Q: How did Bill Clinton get a crick in his neck? A: Trying to save both faces."
"I told my Jewish girlfriend I was going to stuff her in the oven Because she's my cutie pie!"
"DM:You're so hot, wanna Skype? Me: it is quite hot, and a skype sounds delicious. Is that vodka? DM: ME:hello...you there"
"I asked a Chinese girl for her number.. She said, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 666-3629."""