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Joke of the Day

"LA girls say they want to go on ""adventures"" but when I pitch the idea of overthrowing the yakuza they clarify that they meant, like, hiking"

"Sarcasm has to be the official language when we live in a world this absurd."

"Use chemicals to remove polish and no one cares.. But use chemicals to remove Polish and you're literally Hitler."

"What does a horny gay rooster say in the morning? ""Any-cock'll-doooooo!"""

"Mum: From now on your going to have free school dinners. Son:But Mum I don't want three school dinners one is more than enough !"

"Why did the dyslexic engineer fail college? Because he didn't understand psychics."

"Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Because he hasn't."

"How do you get a nun pregnant? You dress her up as a choirboy."

"I hear China has abandoned it's one child policy, which is great news. I never could eat just the one"

"I phoned my boss. I said, ""I'm calling in sick tomorrow."" ""But, how do you know you're going to be ill?"" he asked. I swear, sometimes he forgets that he works in a psychic shop."