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Joke of the Day

"I was redditing while on the toilet when... I almost dropped my phone..... literally scared the shit out of me"

Next Joke
 
"What's Putin's new favorite song? Crimea River"
"Cop: GET DOWN ON THE GROUND Me: I didn't do... Cop:*cuffing me* Dispatch, we have a creepy clown in custody Me: These are my regular clothes"
"TIL 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the entire population. Title."
"Hey dude, want some sodium hypobromite? NaBrO, I'm good."
"What type of dinosaurs roamed the Mediterranean before the asteroid hit? Falafel Raptors. (sorry)"
"A construction crew was converting an old road near a chicken coupe back to farmland... Comedians slaughtered the construction crew, and the jokes continued."
"I have no respect for mules. Everything they do is half-assed."
"What's the difference between snowmen and snowomen? Snowballs"
"A snare drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff... ba dum PSH!"
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