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Joke of the Day
"-Where is your wife ? -In the garden. -But I don't see her. -Oh, you just have to dig a little."
Next Joke
"My spirit animal is this 9 yo, so calm and polite during girl sleepover drama, who just told me ""literally, nothing is interesting to me""."
"Sometimes I feel like a pelican Whichever way I look, I can see a huge bill.."
"How do you titilate an ocelot? You oscillate its tits a lot."
"9am: protein shake, oatmeal 1pm: small salad, chicken breast 5pm: grilled salmon, spinach 9pm: 4 whole ""i don't give a shit anymore"" pizzas"
"What happens if Hillary Clinton gets so sick she dies before the general election? ...she goes to hell"
"Why is grandpa fine with performing tricks, but gets mad if you ask grandma? It took him forever to get her off that street corner."
"How do you tell a hypocrite from a normal person? The hypocrite's the one that exists."
"""Use divorce, Luke."" """" Obi Wan, marriage counselor"
"A guy walks into a bar ouch"