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Joke of the Day

"A few weeks ago I mentioned toilet paper in a tweet and got toilet paper in the mail. So, here goes: dragons."

"The Government Don't lie.. Don't cheat. Dont steal. Don't sell drugs. Don't kill. The Government Hates Competition"

"Probably the rudest thing you can do to a stingray is catch it with a fishing pole and then fly it like a kite."

"If I were the Town Mayor, I would rename our bridge ""The Influence."" ... Then I would direct the police to pull over and ticket everyone driving under The Influence."

"Why wouldn't the teacher fart in public? Because she was a private tutor"

"Everyone in this reddit likes the same food? Copy Pasta"

"My daughter refuses to play with her Ouija Board anymore because every time we play, it spells out CLEAN YOUR ROOM."

"What's pink and gray and wrinkly and old and belongs to Grandpa monster? - Grandma monster"

"GF: ...I'm pregnant ME: *holding a 10-piece chicken nuggets box that actually has 11 nuggets* I've also got some pretty big news"

"This one trick will make you feel young again. Made you look."