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Joke of the Day

"Me: This painting really speaks to me. Mona Lisa: You do way too many drugs."

"I used to think my drawings made me autistic... it turns out my Grandma was just from Boston."

"I like my coffee served the same way like I like my women... A cup"

"The trouble with kids these days... ...is that they can't even."

"Arguing on the Internet is like sex with a goat No matter how good your performance, everyone else now thinks less of you."

"As there aren't any female leprechauns, where do leprechauns come from ~ something to ponder every St Patrick's Day"

"Did you hear Viagra now comes in a nasal spray? It's for dickheads!"

"""Wow, it's pouring out there."" ""Just let a smile be your umbrella!"" ""That's not how rain works, Karen."""

"And then the Lord said unto thee ""any social media site besides Facebook asking for prayers shall go unanswered."" Matthew 4:23"

"Discovered that my wife can talk to me THROUGH THE SPEAKERS OF MY NEW CAR so I'm returning it."