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Joke of the Day

"Cocktail bar.. Wife went to a cocktail bar, she asked the barman for a double entendre ..,so he gave her one."

"My dad's take on 35 years of marriage. Me: ""Mom and Dad, how does it feel to have been married for 35 years?"" Dad: ""Well, it only seems like it's been 5 minutes..."" Mom: ""Awww!"" Dad: ""...Underwater."""

"Did you know that Princess Diana was on her cell phone when she died? She was also on the dashboard, the windscreen, the roadside..."

"""What happens to germaphobes?"" They wash their hands so often, they dry out and people assume they have AIDS."

"How do Italian Jews like their bread? With-a matzah holes in it."

"Rescue attempts are being made to save a bull stranded on Mt. Everest Reports confirm that the steaks have never been higher."

"Don't you hate it when... [NSFW] ...you could have actually viewed that Reddit post at work?"

"[helping son prepare for first date] ""what if she doesn't like it"" *stuffing handkerchiefs up son's sleeve* be confident in your magic, son"

"What do you call a vegetarian fart? Kale force wind!"

"""Open Mike Night"" sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I'd been invited to an autopsy."