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Joke of the Day
"TIFU by getting fired from the calendar factory All I did was take a couple of days off."
Next Joke
"Now that ""twerking"" is in the Oxford dictionary, we probably can go back to grunting and hitting things to communicate."
"What did the doctor say to the cancer patient? You have tumor months to live."
"Q: How do you say ""take a shit"" in Japanese? A: Shit-take Q: How do you say ""took a shit"" in Japanese? A: Shit-take-mashita"
"Are you fu*** crazy? A squirrel with a nut having sex. Another squirrel sees her and asks: ""Are you fucking crazy?"" ""No, I'm fucking nuts!"""
"You shouldn't make fun of people who use Viagra. It's hard enough for them already."
"Me: Watcha got there? 8: Lemonade. Me: What kind? 8: Mike's Me: Nooooooo"
"""This is where the magic happens."" - Harry Potter walking into his bedroom and every other room on MTV Cribs."
"What is a good title for a movie about bacon? ""Babe: The Final Chapter"""
"I had a dream that my friend Martin became the ruler of all bath sponges. We called him Martin Loofah King."