48836

Joke of the Day

"I had a dream that my friend Martin became the ruler of all bath sponges. We called him Martin Loofah King."

"Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? Wouldn't you if your name was Hhuuuurrrnnnnggg."

"I couldn't decide whether to be an environmentalist or a conservationist... ...so I killed two birds with one stone."

"I'm at my classiest when my neighbor catches me begging my dog to shit faster because it's cold."

"I got arrested for having sex in a park. Luckily, I know some guys so I only got away with necrophilia."

"TIL that saying sushi instead of so shitty makes you smile. that is all. no need to click this. If you are reading this you clicked the link, and you are sushi."

"imagine a stadium full of Furbies all talking at once"

"What's the difference between art and junk? A plaque."

"I used to be schizophrenic but I'm OK now. No I'm not."

"I went to get myself a glass of punch but..."