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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between illegal and unlawful? One's against the law and the other is a sick bird."

"You know you're getting old when you fall down and wonder what else you can do while you're down there."

"Why don't women fart? They can't keep their mouths shut long enough to build up pressure"

"If you win three games of Twister in a row you're automatically a yoga instructor."

"This is ridiculous: ""www"" contains THREE TIMES more syllables than the phrase it is 'short' for, ""world wide web."""

"Why couldn't the effective vitamin supplement achieve true happiness? He was too super fish oil."

"Dude yelled ""Fight me like a man"" at me, so I held him down and marginalized him for a thousand years."

"My entire family is prone to diarrhea... ...It runs in our jeans. EDIT: typo"

"[ultrasound] DOCTOR: oh my god! HER: what's wrong? DOCTOR: Ok don't panic but it looks as though you swallowed a baby"

"What holiday do Jewish bridges celebrate? Passover."