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Joke of the Day

"My entire family is prone to diarrhea... ...It runs in our jeans. EDIT: typo"

"What does apathy sound like? I'm Ellen Pao, AMA"

"Libraries are a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn't be allowed to talk."

"How can you tell if you have a high sperm count ? Your girlfriend has to chew before she can swallow,"

"Why does Pinnochio always get an erection when he's in a forest? Because he has a woodpecker!"

"A girl called me up, she said ""come over there's nobody home"" So I went over, but there was nobody home"

"I set them up, you..."

"Why is gay marriage an issue? Because people are fucking assholes."

"A man attempting to piss in public is apprehended by a police officer... The officer asks him, ""Sir, do you realize this is against the law?"" The man replies, ""No, sir, it's against the wall."""

"What tribe is your bicep from?"