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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you feed an Eevee a sandwich? A Luncheon!"

"What ever happened to Windows 9? Windows 7 8 9."

"[at restaurant] Me: ""I'm so hungry I could eat a horse"" Wife: ""I'm the same"" Horse family at next table: *just sitting very still*"

"How did you get those horrible burns? *flashback to me enjoying some hot soup on a rollercoaster* I saved a litter of puppies from a fire."

"I just bought a really expensive car, only to find the reverse gear broken. There's no going back now."

"The best joke of them all You."

"If you lend someone $20 and never see them again, it was probably worth it."

"See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil."

"I was on a date other day when the girl said she wanted to start a long distance relationship using semaphore. Raised a couple of red flags..."

"""I hope these bad jokes distract you from the fact you're getting screwed."" - Car insurance commercials"