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Joke of the Day

"I was walking down the street earlier and saw two kids fighting As an adult I had to step in. They didn't stand a chance."

"What does IDK mean? I've yet to find someone who knows."

"How many virgins do I get from dying of embarrassment? Does anyone know?"

"Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain... You were waiting for the punchline but it never came."

"Me: You wanna have sex tonight? GF: I'm not in the mood babe. Me: Hold on a second. I'm on the phone."

"How do you know if someone is Puerto Rican? They tell you."

"Do you know what 80 year old vagina tastes like? Depends"

"I've got 99 problems but my battery is almost dead so I guess we'll have to talk about this later."

"Have you heard about the pig who took up disco dancing? He liked to swing his weight around."

"What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk!"