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Joke of the Day

"I'd rather spend my Saturday with the dead arm from '127 Hours' than attend a baby shower."

"4th of July is the one day if the year I willingly sit outside all day."

"What company did the Nazis use to move the Jews to concentration camps? Jew-Haul"

"Why did the blind man use chopsticks? Because he couldn't see the point in forks."

"A bear walks into a bar. He says, ""I'll have a gin... ... ... ... and tonic."" The bartender says, ""Sure, but what about the big pause?"" The bear says, ""I was born with them."""

"Guys, I'm getting a little offended by these racist jokes. I had a black friend. . . ... Until my dad sold him."

"A man is waiting on the bus... ""Would you mind coming down?"" The driver asked politely."

"I need another name for a dinosaur. I should consult the Thesaurus."

"I hope England beats Iceland... Or they will be out of Europe twice this week!"

"Unless you're planning to lay there shirtless in an open casket, there really is no point to killing yourself with diet and exercise."