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Joke of the Day
"I hope England beats Iceland... Or they will be out of Europe twice this week!"
Next Joke
"I've been dating a homeless woman recently and I think it's getting serious... She's asked me to move out with her..."
"What are the most athletic rodents? Track and field mice."
"*cop frisking me* Cop: ""theres nothin in your pockets that will poke me, right?"" Uh, no Cop: ""OW!"" *baby porcupine jumps out* RUN POKEY, RUN"
"Why did Mozart kill his chickens? They were yelling ""Bach Bach Bach Bach"""
"Q:How do you circumcise a hillbilly? A:Kick his sister in the jaw!!"
"Glass... tastes like blood."
"My dad told a lame joke today I told him to stop because he never makes funny jokes. His replay was - I made you didn't I?"
"What does a mother use to keep her childrens' toenails soft and smooth? A pedi-file"
"Everyone's an atheist until they're making a phone call & praying it goes to voicemail"