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Joke of the Day

"A bear walks into a bar. He says, ""I'll have a gin... ... ... ... and tonic."" The bartender says, ""Sure, but what about the big pause?"" The bear says, ""I was born with them."""

Next Joke
 
"What denomination are the coins in Super Mario Bros? They're dollar coins, because a quarter is two bits, which means a dollar is 8 bits."
"Is there some organization that evaluates the quality of shea butter? Because if so, it could have Fifty Grades of Shea."
"What did the porn star wear to court? Birthday suit"
"I bet Metallica gets really upset whenever they walk through a metal detector and it doesn't go off."
"Compliment somebody on their moustache and all of a sudden she is not your friend anymore."
"If I ever say, ""Do you want me to be honest?"" Say no."
"Wearing Crocs is like getting a blow job from a dude... It feels really good until you look down, and realize how gay you are. Edit: Adam Carolla apparently wrote this. Who knew?"
"When folks unfollow me shortly after they've followed me I just figure they sobered up."
"[couples therapy] ME: She thinks I make bad decisions WIFE: He traded our car for a skateboard THERAPIST: *writing notes* This guy rules"