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Joke of the Day
"4th of July is the one day if the year I willingly sit outside all day."
Next Joke
"What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by it's diameter? Pumpkin Pi."
"Whats the best thing about being a meth addict? Only two more sleeps until christmas."
"What's the difference between yogurt and semen? ~~Semen~~ Yogurt, dammit! I meant *yogurt* doesn't hit the back of your partner's throat at 30 MPH. \* I always mess up punchlines when I'm drunk!"
"What does Andre 3000's menorah look like on the last day of Hanukkah? ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT"
"If anyone asks, we met at a bible study."
"What's the difference between spinach and sodomy? None really. You can add as much butter as you want, kids just won't enjoy them."
"I was a fantastic parent right up until I had kids of my own."
"So me and my friends got in a ride with a student driver today... He knew how to get us to school in time."
"Yo mama so poor when she found a penny on the ground she thought she won the lottery"