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Joke of the Day

"I read an article today about a cat who saved his owner's life. I'm still trying to teach mine not to vomit hairballs on my bed."

"How much do my arms have to weigh before I can be considered heavily armed?"

"What happens when almonds die? Diamond"

"I wanted to be a banker But then I lost interest."

"HURRICANE SANDY UPDATE Mitt Romney has advised everyone in the path of Hurricane Sandy to make their way to their 2nd or 3rd homes immediately."

"How does a german get to the airport? He heils a taxi!"

"Which drink makes a Gorilla feel tipsy? An ape-ricot sour!"

"Hitler sponsors a 10k... He calls it the ""Master Race"""

"How my girlfriend stay's thin. Wanna know how my girlfriend stays thin? She burns most of her calories jumping to conclusions."

"He looks at her, she undresses him with her eyes His clothes fall Whoa whoa. Are you a witch lady because that was creepy.."