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Joke of the Day

"I read an article today about a cat who saved his owner's life. I'm still trying to teach mine not to vomit hairballs on my bed."

"Where do cousins come from? Aunt holes"

"Never trust an atom they make up everything"

"So a man walks into a... All you just got to do is finish it."

"Tomorrow is the 4th of July which means one thing, it's going to be a really big day for nail art Instagram photos."

"My girlfriend asked for a dick pic file size too large"

"I'm getting mixed signals from this girl first she is like ""sorry I'm married"" then it's ""leave me alone I'm married"" I mean which is it"

"If I won $900,000,000, I'd give a quarter of it to charity... ...not sure what I'd do with the other $899,999,999.75 though."

"Yesterday I went to the doctor with a sinus infection But he told me it was all in my head."

"Why does Islam get angry if you criticize their religion? Im not sure they always seem to blow things up out of proportion."