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Joke of the Day

"It sounded like someone on a moped was approaching but it turned out to be 1,000 bees on a regular bicycle."

"Why isn't Cindy spelled Sindie? Whoever caid C makes an S cound was ctupid."

"My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker... ...Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet."

"Who is the chess player's dream companion? A *Czech Mate*"

"I think I'm psychic. Now now I know what you're thinking.."

"Why did the drunk fall asleep at the wheel? He needed a place to crash."

"I almost bought a huge library out of old computer programming books... ...but the ascii price was way too high."

"Mistakes married women make: 1. Assuming he heard you. 2. Assuming he understood you. 3. Assuming he'll remember. 4. Marrying a man."

"What do you call a Warriors fan that complains about the refs? A retarded bandwagoner"

"Have you ever seen Ted Cruz and the Zodiac Killer in the same room? Me neither."