101364

Joke of the Day

"It's hard to do stuff because, you know, internet."

"Why did the noodle take a bow after the recital? He was the vermicellist"

"Why did Robert Oppenheimer's wife go to the beach naked? There was no bikini atoll"

"What do parrots eat ? Polyfilla !"

"Have you heard of the new constipation movie? it hasn't come out yet."

"[orders 2,000 Big Macs thinking I'll only have to tell my mom 'I love her' for them] Cashier: that'll be $5,364.32 Me: shit"

"We were without phone, TV and internet access for a few hours today. It was terrifying because I almost got some work done."

"I was bit by a rattlesnake last summer. After three days of excruciating pain the snake died"

"Q: Why doesn't Bill like old houses? A: He's afraid of the draft."

"When your body is a solid 10 But your intro and conclusion need work"