191992

Joke of the Day

"We were without phone, TV and internet access for a few hours today. It was terrifying because I almost got some work done."

"Why do all Gas Station restrooms look like you just walked in on an exorcism."

"I tried going outside today as a gamer Holy shit 4K RES and 120 FPS. Best quality ever. 10/10 will play again."

"I caught my kid jacking off the other day I told him if he kept it up he'd go blind. He said, ""dad, I'm over here"""

"Little Johnny is sitting in geography class when the teacher asks him, ""Where is Pakistan?"" He replies ""Outside playing with Paki-Dave."""

"""HOW"" - dyslexic owl"

"If you don't swear when you're driving, you aren't paying enough attention to the road."

"I'm writing a book called ""Stop Overreacting"". If you guys don't buy it I'm going to kill myself."

"My brother was convicted as an accessory to murder Dad always said he'd accomplice something."

"Dear spouse: When I said I needed more physical contact, I was not aiming for you to high five me whenever I walk by..."